Sunitha - Trouble

**Trigger Warning: this post contains some extreme violence**

Despite his being half dead, Sunitha had enjoyed seeing Quinn again. He wasn't nearly was gruff or rude as he had been during their first meeting. It was kind of nice. No, it was very nice. That wasn't all, though. He had kissed her. Kissed her. And he'd meant it. It had been a wild ride, that past twelve hours or so. Quinn has swept back into her life like a hurricane, had told her so much about the trouble he was in, and he had kissed her, which she was still honestly having trouble getting over. Every time she thought about his lips against hers, she couldn't help but smile, her heart pounding happily in her chest.

Only a few minutes ago, Sunitha had been transferring every credit she had left to her name over to Quinn in hopes that it would help. He had promised to pay her back, but hadn't given her the time to retaliate. She didn't want him to pay her back. It had been a gift. Besides, as soon as she went to work for Rory, she would be perfectly financially stable-- for the most part, anyways. Already, she had told Quinn not to worry about paying her back, and yet, he had still promised to do so. She was broke now, though. It would only last a short while, though. Within a few days, she would be moving and Rory had promised her a much more stable life. It was a nice thought, and she was more than grateful for the opportunity. She would have to remember to call and check in with him soon.

Sunitha was sitting on her blood-soaked couch, looking down at her old iX, not really seeing it. Her fingertips were touched lightly to her cheek, where Quinn had kissed her before walking out her door. He had actually managed to convince her that everything would be just fine. He would come back after the two weeks were up and he wouldn't be dead. For a time, Sunitha sat there, a smile on her face.

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Had it been five days? Or six? Sunitha hadn't really been counting the nights she spent alone, but she knew it had been a while since she had last seen Quinn. However long it had been, she was really feeling it. There was a longing in her heart that she couldn't quell. Truth be told, she was a bit worried about him. She couldn't quite place a finger on why-- it was just a gut feeling she had. For the most part, she ignored it, pushed the worries aside to focus on everything else.

She was moving.

Today was the day. What little she had was all packed up into a few boxes. The furniture that she had managed to get would be left behind-- it wasn't all that great, and besides, it was stained with blood. Quinn's blood. It would be the second time she was moving within the year. It felt strange to her. When she had come to Cometra, a martyr hated by most everyone for her views on the aliens, she had never really expected to even move out of the slums. Now she was moving into her own little home. And it would be a home-- not just an unstable shelter where she hid from hateful words and attackers. Rory had given her much and more. She would never truly be able to repay his kindness.

Just an hour earlier, he had stopped by to check on her. She had greeted him with a hug and a kiss on the cheek. Rory had taken two of the boxes with him when he'd left, leaving Sunitha with just the one to tote. It was her box of sentimental items-- the things she had saved from earth (which wasn't much) and the few important things she had gathered during her time in the slums. Some oddly-shaped items kept the box from being able to close entirely, but Sunitha was certain she would be able to manage it no problem.

Stepping out the door, Sunitha was prepared to never look back at the little apartment like house she'd been living in for the past few months. Setting the box down carefully on the ground, she attached a note to the outside of the door with her new address-- just in case anyone should come looking for her. Once that was done, she picked up the box and turned to continue. With the box in her face, though, she stumbled on the step that led down from the door. With a soft squeak, she caught herself, but her grip on the box began to fail. On the other side of the box, Sunitha felt it steady. She was so sure it was Rory, come to make sure she was safe and could find her way to her new home. "Oh, thank you!" When she lifted her brown eyes to the face of her savior, however, it wasn't anyone she recognized.

The man standing there, holding her box of sentimental items, was big and frightening. His face was just about emotionless, making him look almost robotic. "Um... Th-thank you, Sir. How can I...how can I repay your kindness?" She offered a delicate and warm smile as she looked up at the man towering over her. Without a word, he grabbed Sunitha as if she were a ragdoll, throwing her over his shoulder. The box hit the sidewalk with a crunch, its contents spilling out as the only sign of struggle.

Sunitha wriggled in the man's grasp for only a short time before she realized it was a fruitless effort. Finally, she gave up. There was nothing else she could do.

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Sunitha stood before a woman with a dark look in her eye. Wherever she was, the place was expensive. Her heart was pounding in her chest as she glanced around the pristine room. Finally, her eyes made it back to the woman lounging in front of her. As Sunitha gawked, the woman's lips curled into a devious smile. "Hello, Dear." The woman's voice was sickly sweet. There was something about it that made Sunitha feel sick and frightened. "You're probably wondering where you are and why I've had you brought here." Sunitha nodded slowly, afraid to speak. "You see, a certain...Mr. Quinn Dwyer owes me some money. A great deal of money. Which he has neglected to get to me for a long, long while. And well," The curl of the woman's lips deepened into a sadistic smile. "You're collateral."

Sunitha's breath caught in her chest, her eyes widened. She wanted to protest, to do something, but fear rooted her to the ground. All she managed was a tiny squeak before the gigantic man who had taken her in the first place hit her in the back of the head and everything went black.

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The room was dark save for the glow of what appeared to be a brand in the hand of the monstrous man. It was moving towards her.

Sunitha's screams ripped from her lungs, echoing around the sound-proofed room.

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When she woke, she was in pain. So much pain. Sunitha couldn't recall having ever been in so much pain before in her life. Every time she moved, it was like her body was on fire. Red flashed before her eyes before dissolving into dots of pain. Her breathing was harsh and ragged. Tears fells from her eyes over her cheeks, cutting paths through the grime that had accumulated there. 

Sunitha had no idea how long they had been torturing her, but it felt like it had already been a lifetime. Blood has dried on her back, her arms, her face...everywhere. Her eyes darted around the room, looking for something, anything, that might be of use. Nothing. These people-- whoever they were-- were not new to this game. That frightened her even more. 

Just as her breathing seemed to settle into a normal pattern, the door opened. The woman with the sinister smile waltzed into the room, that same sadistic smile playing on her lips. Something flashed in her hand and Sunitha's heart pounded harder and harder, her breathing growing ragged once more. 

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There was so much pain that Sunitha could hardly feel anything anymore. Her body was battered and broken and scarred. She felt dead-- knew this had to be the end. She would never get out of here. The door opened, spilling light into the dark and bloodied room. Sunitha didn't fight it anymore. She stayed still as a corpse, waiting for the torture that she knew was coming. Instead, she was lifted off the ground by the monster of a man who had kidnapped her in the first place. The movement made her whole body flare to life, shooting pain everywhere making her cry out.

The man brought her to the room she had first met the sinister woman in. This time, it was a bit different. There were body guards standing around the figure of another person. The monster of a man flopped Sunitha down onto the floor without care. She winced and cried out from the pain once more, before cautiously lifting her head to glance at the other person who had been recently bloodied. When her eyes landed on him, they widened with terror and worry. It was Quinn.

Sunitha's Journal: Love

Falling for someone is much different than I ever thought it would be. It always sounded like something beautiful, something to look forward to. I did not think it would be like this. Not like this at all. I remember the first time I thought I was in love. Kevin. That was his name. It was my first year at university. I didn't think he could ever like someone like me, but he did. I can remember our first date as though it were yesterday. It was the first date I had ever been on. I should like to blame my older brothers for that. But I really thought I loved Kevin. I always felt nervous around him. That was what love was supposed to be, right? Butterflies in your stomach, weak knees. Nervous. And that was exactly what he made me feel all the time. Nervous. Looking back, I can see that it wasn't love. It was anxiety. He made me feel like I was never good enough, like I might never be good enough. That is not love. That is not what love should ever be.

Love is supposed to be beautiful, that is what I have heard. Love should make you feel good. Not just about yourself, but about the person you love, about life. Love is difficult to explain and I'm butchering it here. I am certain no one will ever read this, but if someone ever does, I am sorry for my awful description of what love is, but I'm going to continue with it. Love is warm and soft and kind. It's joy and never worrying that you're making the wrong decision. It is not something you come across often. Nor is it something you come across easily. It takes time and effort.

This love, if you can call it that, that I feel is far from beautiful. It is wild, untamed, and generally speaking, ugly and brutish. Quinn Dwyer is not a man I should have ever fallen for. I never should have even looked his way. But I did. And I will not say it is a mistake because I do not feel as though I have made a mistake. If it is a mistake, it has been the best mistake of my life. Yes, helping him cost me a finger, but I still do not feel regret. Every now and then, when I look at him, I feel a strange sense of sorrow well up inside me. But then, when I really look at him, it all melts away like snow in springtime. Quinn is a man I should not love. He is a man I should not think about. There is something, though, about him that makes me unafraid. I feel warm when I am with him despite his general lack of warmth towards me.

If any of my brothers were to find out about Quinn, they would kill him. And then possibly me. Quinn is not a good man. I know this. It is difficult not to see that. But, I think, there is still something deep inside him that is good. Perhaps a shred of whoever he used to be, before he grew to be the man he is now. But I could be wrong. I  am crazy, after all. Crazy and broken. I do not want Quinn to know just how broken I am. I fear that should he find out that I am simply a shell of a woman, he will no longer wish to see me, no longer wish to be near me. I do not want to lose the one really good thing I have. Rory, if you ever see this, I am sorry. That probably sounded much like an insult, but I am incredibly grateful for the job you have given me, and it brings me great joy. That joy hardly reaches down into my broken soul, my broken mind, though, and I do wish to the Gods it reached deeper than it does.

 For now, I will hope. Hope that Quinn never learns that I am broken. I do not know if I can bear to be alone in this hateful world anymore. Not now that I feel something other than pain and sorrow. I am sorry. I don't know who I am apologizing to, but I am sorry. Sorry for sounding so much like a downer and so very emotional and unstable. I suppose this is where I put all of my instability so it does not interfere with my everyday life.

-Sunitha Singh, April 2371

Sunitha - Who Is She?

personality

gentle

From a young age, Sunitha's gentleness was obvious. While other children fought with their siblings, Sunitha never did. Instead, she would scold them, tell them that hitting and yelling would solve nothing. Her parents often had to stifle laughter as their four-year-old daughter scolded her siblings. It didn't end there, though, oh no. If one of them got hurt, she took to caring for them instantly. Unless there was blood, in which case, she usually cried out for Mother. At the age of eleven, Sunitha found a kitten, abandoned, starving, barely able to move. It hissed at her, but Sunitha was determined to help the poor tiny thing. Finally, after what felt like forever, Sunitha carried the kitten home, cradled in her arms that were now covered in scratches and blood. Sunitha nursed the kitten back to health and it grew to love her. Her parents allowed her to keep the kitten on one condition: they would not be asked to help care for it. The kitten was named Shmi. Older now, Sunitha is still the same, gentle person. She doesn't believe in killing anyone--or anything, for that matter--out of spite, hate, malice. Honestly, she would prefer if there was no killing, period. Honestly, she can't fathom killing an insect, and doesn't care much for picking flowers, either.


understanding
While some people could do without Sunitha's gentleness, nearly everyone adores how understanding she is. She always listens and never judges. As far as she's concerned, everyone deserves her respect and kindness until they show her otherwise. Even when she disagrees with someone else's views, she still tries her hardest to understand how they see things, why they have that particular view. And, in most cases, she will not force her views onto others. That's just unfair, telling others their views are wrong just because she doesn't agree with them. Of course, there are some cases, such as killing off an entire species of aliens, where she will stand rigidly against those who oppose her views. Everyone deserves life.
determined
Sunitha's gentle nature sometimes works against her, but when she really believes in something, she stands strong. Sunitha knows when she wants something, and she knows how to fight for it. Of course, fight in the figurative sense-- she doesn't really do the whole violence thing. Perhaps a more suited term would be that Sunitha goes out and gets exactly what she wants when she knows she really wants it. Most of causes she fights for are social in nature, but there are occasionally some other things. One thing she was really determined to do was go to school. It was a privilege that, as the youngest child, and a female, she almost didn't get. After sending three other children through school, her parents were unsure as to whether they would be able to help their daughter with her schooling. Luckily for her, she got into a university with a full scholarship. It was her determination as a teenager that got her the full scholarship, and it would be her determination that would help her convince others that the aliens shouldn't all be killed.

history

india
2343, May. 97 degrees Fahrenheit. Sunitha Kartar Singh was born in the blistering heat of summer. Her mother had already had three other children, all boys. Though Sunitha's birth was simple, no complications, she was still the largest baby of the four. When she was pulled from the womb, she cried for only a few minutes. Once she was washed off and in the arms of her mother, the crying stopped. With her tiny fist, she rubbed her eyes and slept against her mother's bosom.

Sunitha was privileged as a child. Despite the many, many years of social restructuring and reformation, females in India still had lower literacy rates, though by very little, than males. Sunitha's parents where fairly well-off, though, and Sunitha was able to learn to read and write and even go to school. Determined to be a strong, self-sufficient person when she grew up, Sunitha worked hard at school, always striving to do better. She graduated from high school at the top of her class. With her outstanding marks, extra-curricular, and gentle personality, she got into every university she applied to. Only one gave her a full scholarship, though. That one was her top school, her dream school. She was going to be a nurse practitioner.

university
The United States was so very different from India. In all honestly, Sunitha wasn't sure if she even really liked it there. University was amazing, though, no doubt about that. She had made so many new friends and had learned so much, and it had only been a few years. Not to mention, she'd met a boy. The first boy she'd ever been interested in. He was so handsome with his striking blue eyes and messy light brown hair. She had only seen a handful of Americans before, but none of them were like him. He was tall, very tall, and lean. Then again, just about everyone seemed tall to a girl only five foot four. The point was that she fell hard and fast for this guy. He was her first everything. She thought it would last forever. Well, until she found him with another lady, that is.

He was her first heartbreak, but it was good for her, really. Sunitha focused herself on her path, determined to be the best goddamned nurse the school had ever seen. There were other guys who tried to get her attention, but they all failed. Sunitha was much to busy with her education to get distracted like that again. Besides, she couldn't risk losing her scholarship for some guy or other. Six years passed, and at the age of twenty-four, Sunitha graduated, a nurse practitioner, at the top of her class.

kirkland
Sunitha had found a job right after graduation. She worked at a small family medical center in a town called Kirkland in the state of Washington. It was so much different than any place she had been yet. It was cold, grey, and rainy almost all the time. It was rather unpleasant, but Sunitha loved her job. She got to help people young and old. This was truly where she belonged.

A year or so went by. Sunitha was living in a one-bedroom apartment alone. She had friends, and often had them visit her, but she sometimes felt a little lonely. She had achieved her career goals and was very well off, but there was more to life than this. Sometimes her mind would wander back to that time when she thought she was in love back in university. Sometimes she wished she could see him again. Other times she was glad she was rid of him. But it wouldn't be long before her life changed forever.
the attack
It was just a few months later, Sunitha was only twenty-five years old. She had been chatting with her parents who still lived in India. That was the last time she would ever see their faces. The earth felt like it was shaking more violently than any earthquake. The call was disconnected. Sunitha was cut off from her family, from the world. The apartment building was collapsing. Screams reached her ears from everywhere, but she could barely hear them over the ringing. Panic struck her as she hurried to take cover under something--anything.

The building was in pieces around her. Sunitha thanked the gods that she was still alive. Her bed had been strong enough to keep her safe from the falling chunks of building. Cautiously, Sunitha crawled out from her safe spot and rushed away from the rubble. If she wasn't safe, she wouldn't be able to help others. That had been engrained into her memory since her first year of university. She called out, asking if anyone else had survived. A hand seemed to be reaching out to her, but when she got there, no one was attached to it. Sunitha let out a scream, dropping the arm to the ground. Around her, the world was in ruins. She didn't know what to do. How could she help anyone if she didn't know what to do.

Her head moved around, taking in the sight of the devastation. What had caused so much death, so much destruction? Then she saw it. It was like nothing she had ever seen before in her life. It wasn't human. It wasn't an animal, either. Alien. The word popped into her head. At first, she couldn't believe it was real. She didn't even know if it was looking at her, but it felt like it was watching her. There were several others off in the distance, destroying lives, homes, everything. This one, though, stood and stared at her. Or maybe it had its back to her, Sunitha really couldn't tell, but she thought it was looking at her, studying her. Without warning, it began to move. Sunitha took a step back, fear filling her heart. The alien turned and walked away. She was mostly unharmed. Or maybe it had all been a dream.

Sunitha was one of the few to get out. She remembered an Alliance ship picking her up. She didn't remember where she even was. It must have been days, maybe even weeks, that she had been out there, wandering, hiding from attacks. She was sure the only reason they actually took her with them, though, was because she told them she was trained as a nurse practitioner. She could help the injured. It wasn't long before she was taken to Wisteria Colony on Cometra.

cometra
Being a refugee was different than living. It was like there were always people who looked at her with pity in their eyes. It made her feel uncomfortable at times. Then again, there were several people who looked at her as though she were one of the aliens and others who wouldn't make eye contact. Just because she didn't believe that the aliens should be hated and slaughtered. They deserved life, just as everyone else did. Besides, if that one had let her go, maybe they weren't even "bad." Sunitha felt like an outcast in the colony, but she never let it get her too down. Her determination to make others see that not all aliens could be bad kept her strong.

The worst part, though, was Devlin. He hated the aliens almost as much as she didn't. He was a thorn in her side and they were always butting heads. Maybe, if he wasn't always around, spouting filth about extermination, she would have gotten through to some people by now. If there was anything that could weaken her resolve, it was Devlin, but she would never share that secret. She wouldn't let him win.